FRANKLIN – It has been no secret that the Franklin/Southampton County Fair has taken quite a hit financially in the past few years, as sparse crowds, bad weather, and the rampant smell of livestock have all taken their toll. Combined with the local economy still reeling from the recession, the Fair found itself in quite a dilemma trying to land a solid entertainment option for the coveted Saturday night musical entertainment show. With local favorite “Silver Street” not an option, and very little funds left over with everyone getting their Shine On Friday night, event organizers had to get creative this time around.
“We decided to form an alliance with everyone’s favorite Neighborhood Bar and Grill,” said Fair Organizer, Randy Hunt. “We knew that Applebee’s had been holding karaoke competitions every Monday night. So we decided that we’d sponsor a competition, with the winner getting to perform for our Saturday night show and a ‘one-time use, half-off appetizers after 9PM’ coupon.”
Applebee’s manager, Wellpast Dunn, was also enthused. “It’s a perfect fit for us. These karaoke competitions get quite heated, and there’s so much talent on display. The fact that we get them in here paying for food while competing is even better, and I do apologize for your Cowboy burger being a little tough, and yes I’m aware now that the tomatoes have gone bad. I do apologize, but please come see us again.”
The competition, held on July 15, came down to three musical acts.
Felicia Conner’s rendition of Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” had the crowd hopping and dancing in the aisles. “She seemed to be the favorite, but we had to disqualify her,” said Dunn. “Apparently she had no interest in performing at the Fair, she only sang to get people moving so her party could sneak out on their bill while everyone was up dancing. Pretty slick, the classic dine and dive. A couple of the kids even took a few of the Angry Birds balloons on the way out. It’s a shame. Our hard working clown tirelessly blew them up just to have them taken. I don’t know if everyone knows this, but our clown does Norfolk Tides’ games too. I hope he doesn’t get too mad, this is why we can’t have nice things right here.”
The runner-up contestant, going by the alias of “The Gropist,” brought a soulful R&B performance to the Applebee’s bar area. Singing R.Kelly’s “Bump N Grind” to the remaining crowd who had faithfully stayed to pay their bill, The Gropist worked the crowd like no other. “I don’t see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind, either,” said Hunt, “but it has to be consensual, what this guy was doing was not okay. He made Pepe Lepew look like a gentlemen. To borrow from the great Usher, he had plans to put his hands in places he’d never seen, permission be damned. Obviously this has to be a kid friendly environment, so we had to pass.”
The Gropist’s arrest, and Felicia’s disqualification set the stage for the eventual winner, and Saturday night headliner, Ladyless Antebellum, a male duo from Carrsville that primarily sings Lady Antebellum cover songs.
“Oh they were great,” said Applebee’s patron and karaoke viewer, Sandy Epson. “Don’t get me wrong, it was a little weird to start, but once you get past the thought of two men singing a love ballad duet together, it was quite alright. They are quite the pair, the playful back and forth, the stage presence, the tension, I’ll be there Saturday night to take in the entire performance!”
With a confused, but still amused crowd looking on, Ladyless Antebellum belted out “Our Kind of Love.” Ace Jones, the Baritone singer of the duo, covered the traditional male singing parts and shared quite a chemistry with Gary Wills, the more falsetto singer of the two, singing the female parts.
“Wait, are they for real, like are they a real couple?” asked Timmy Peters, a member of the audience.
“I’m not for sure,” replied his date, Kendra Best, “but they are using the same microphone, singing to each other, almost like we’re intruding by being in the same room with them. I’m not sure they know the audience is here.”
After being announced as the winners, Ladyless Antebellum sung an encore cover of “Need you Now.”
“Look, look right there, the male singing dude just said “It’s a quarter after one, I’m a little drunk, and I need you now” then he winked at the female singing dude,” continued Peters. “This is some crazy shit!”
“But one of them is wearing a wedding ring…” replied Best.
“That doesn’t mean anything these days,” retorted Peters. “I can’t wait to see the whole show now.”
“We couldn’t be happier to be performing at the Fair”, said male vocalist, Ace Jones. “Me and Gary have been working really hard for this opportunity, I’m glad we didn’t let it fall by the wayside. I think me and Gary will do some celebrating tonight for sure, we’ll start with the Appetizer sampler. Oh, and two straws please for the big Margarita!”
Ladyless Antebellum is scheduled to play Saturday night at 9, and will sign autographs afterwards for their new fans. A playlist has been obtained for their concert:
- Need You Now –Lady Antebellum
- Our Kind of Love – Lady Antebellum
- Islands in the Stream – Kenny Rogers & Dolly Parton
- Let’s Make Love – Faith Hill & Tim McGraw
- Dancin’ Away With My Heart – Lady Antebellum
- I Run to You – Lady Antebellum
- Just a Kiss – Lady Antebellum
- We Owned the Night – Lady Antebellum
- Downtown – Lady Antebellum
- Nobody – Keith Sweat
- Endless Love – Lionel Richie & Diana Ross
- Remind Me – Brad Paisley & Carrie Underwood
- We Owned the Night – Lady Antebellum
Tickets currently are $10, unless the Fair gets greedy and jacks it to $20. See you there.