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I must confess… I was “cutting a loop” Tuesday night and came across a little stinkhole called Conway. I was enamored by the numerous “mongrels” of it’s society watching this game called “Throw your corn into my anus” that I stopped my loop to observe deeper.
As I watched, my bowels began to warn of an impending explosion, probably a result of dinner from The Horny Old Rooster in Boykins. I made my way into The Cornlover Tavern’s bathroom in the “nick of time!” As I dropped “trou” to take a seat, it happened! An eruption of Mt. Kill a Man Jabbo and I made a serious mess of the room! I knew there wasn’t enough TP in all of Carolina to clean that mess up so I casually stepped outside and left it to “mellow.”
I was embarrassed but figured there had to be a redneck busboy that would enjoy taking pictures and telling all his friends. Please forgive me and all the little pigmys in Newtown!
- To the woman that was with me in the Lula B. Taxi, you really weren’t going crazy, I did fart and that smell wasn’t the mill. Sorry I made you vomit, you can go back to eating McDonald’s now, that wasn’t what caused it this time.
- To the person that had to clean up the Men’s Walmart bathroom stall I devastated on July 9, 2013 I do apologize. It was wrong of me to go upper-decker with the runs, after eating 2 Nachos Supremes from Taco Bell. I’d also like to apologize for throwing the whole roll of toilet paper into the bowl, it’s just I’ve seen it done so many other times in public restrooms, that I thought it was a rite of passage or something. My bad.