FRANKLIN- A local institution, The Foulwater News, has learned that an article displayed on it’s website last week has been proven to have inaccuracies after the article’s comments section rebuked the article’s content.
The article in question referred to the recent arrest of the Goat Herder, an accused Goat farmer who allegedly took indecent liberties with his goats. The article detailed the Goat Herder’s exploits, but incorrectly reported that he was being held without bail, which soon came under fire after several website commenters refuted the information.
“We have learned from user, IHeartMy2Chirren, that the Goat Herder was in fact, out at the Walmart, having a good ole time, looking for goat shampoo,” said Foulwater News Senior Editor, Olden D. Krepit. “This of course contradicts what we found out from our sources. We had to offer a retraction once ILuvSprinkles83 confirmed IHeartMy2Chirren’s statement by saying that she too saw the Goat Herder in Walmart, but she saw him on the animal feed aisle.”
As of this article’s press time, the article had generated some 45 comments from local know-it-alls, with word on the street being that his wife should be locked up too because, according to MackinAlly, “you know she had to hear them goats screaming, she’s just as guilty.” IHeartJesusandmy3kids wholeheartedly agreed.
“I even saw them going to Gold to Cold Hard Money Son to look for a goat pendant,” said Ble$$ed, “the nerve, just flaunting it in front of our faces!”
One user quickly came to the Goat Herder’s defense while offending all that is good in English grammar, animallover19 said, “WHAT EVER HAPUNNED TO BEUNG INNOOCEENT UNTEEL PROVING GILLTEE WE DON’T NO WHAT HAPPINED IN DAT BARN LETS WEIGHT TIL THE TRYLE UNTEL WE PASS JUGMENT ONLY GOD CAN JUG US YOR MOMA WUD BE ASAMED OF U”
Jasper Higgenbottom, who dropped in on the comments to weigh in under his real name, lecturing several of the comment section participants, “People have some pretty nasty things to say under the guise of a made up username, but would never say it to the person’s face. It’s a shame many of you have nothing better to do than spread gossip and kick someone while they’re down, especially anonymously with a fake email account. I don’t know what this Goat Herder’s been doing, we have trials for a reason, past that let’s respect their privacy and the court’s ruling. And please teach your kids some shit so they won’t come rob me in ten years.”
Since the comment section findings, the Foulwater News has relieved its fact checker of her duties. She has since applied to work for the Jivewater, but according to Senior Editor, “We have room for many things, but a fact checker isn’t one of them.” The newspaper also announced that its comments section will be its sole fact checking method, and will be used to correct all stories in the future. Happy reading and posting!