FRANKLIN – Franklin City Public Schools’ latest board meeting took a bizarre turn Thursday night when a mysterious figure—dressed in a green suit covered in question marks—stormed into the chamber during Citizen’s Time, further fueling the growing discontent over the recent ousting of beloved high school principal, I. B. Competent.
Before Trooper Stanley Johnson could intervene, the enigmatic disruptor, later identified as an unknown local protester, approached the microphone and theatrically posed a single question to the board: “What walks on two legs, takes taxpayer money, and still can’t answer a simple question?” The room erupted in laughter before Board Chair Mr. Gerald Bolt hastily called for order, though not before someone in the back shouted, “It’s all of you!”
“What walks on two legs, takes taxpayer money, and still can’t answer a simple question?”
-The Franklin Riddler
The interruption only emboldened frustrated parents and concerned citizens, who used their allotted three-minute speeches to eviscerate Superintendent Dr. Charlie Canner and the school board over the controversial removal of Principal Competent.
“This board couldn’t run a lemonade stand, let alone a school district,” fumed local parent Brenda Mathers. “We had a principal who actually cared about our kids, and you got rid of him for what? So Dr. Canner could install one of his yes-men?” Mathers apologized for her disheveled appearance, having not had time to spruce up due to being busy passing out petitions for an elected school board. The school board is currently appointed by City Council.
Longtime resident Thomas Rudd followed up with a blistering critique: “I’ve seen reality TV contestants make better decisions than this school board. At least they pretend to listen before they vote people off.”
Former Franklin High School football coach Mike “Big Win” Wilkins also took to the podium, still fuming over his unceremonious firing. “Imagine waking up, pouring yourself a cup of coffee, and checking your email—only to find out your job is posted online before anyone tells you. That’s what this school board did to me. I guess transparency is just another thing they cut from the budget.”
Despite multiple calls for decorum, the public comments only escalated. When board member Tim Reilly attempted to respond, he was met with a chorus of “Answer the riddle!” and “We’re still waiting for five things you did last week!”—a callback to last week’s debacle with the Department of Government Efficiency.
After nearly an hour of heated exchanges, the board abruptly motioned to adjourn the meeting without comment, effectively dodging further scrutiny. As they fled the chamber, one last citizen took to the mic, simply muttering, “Riddle me this… when’s the next election?”
The next school board meeting is scheduled for March 20, though sources indicate board members are considering hiring additional security.