FRANKLIN – Local parents and concerned citizens were left reeling Monday when Superintendent Dr. Charlie Canner abruptly canceled the highly anticipated town hall meeting scheduled for Monday evening, citing an unforeseen and catastrophic shortage of index cards at the local Walmart.
“I walked into that store expecting to stock up, and what do I see? Empty shelves. Not a single 3×5 in sight,” said a visibly shaken Dr. Canner. “I turned to a Walmart employee for help, but they just shrugged and said something about ‘back-to-school season being over.’ That’s when I knew democracy was in peril.”
“How can I run a meeting without 3x5s?”
FCPS Superintendent Dr. Charlie Canner
The town hall meeting, originally scheduled to address concerns over the demotion of longtime FHS Principal I. B. Competent, overworked teachers, and the mysterious disappearance of all working staplers from district offices, was set to feature a robust Q&A session. However, without index cards to neatly organize the public’s burning questions, Canner deemed the event “logistically unfeasible.”
“I considered using notebook paper, but that just invites chaos,” the superintendent explained. “Before you know it, people are passing me folded-up napkins, crayon-written manifestos, or worse—asking questions directly. That’s not how we do things.”
Local PTA president Linda Beasely expressed frustration at the abrupt cancellation. “This is ridiculous. We all have phones. We could’ve emailed questions or just, you know, spoken. But apparently, without a 3×5 card, the superintendent loses all ability to govern.”
The Franklin Walmart has yet to comment on whether they will replenish their index card supply anytime soon. Meanwhile, reports indicate Dr. Canner has been seen at the office supply aisle of Staples, clutching a legal pad with an air of quiet desperation.
FCPS Spokesperson Ima Schill said, “The cancellation of the Town Hall meeting has absolutely nothing to do with the protest scheduled to take place before the meeting.”
The town hall meeting has been tentatively rescheduled for next month, pending a successful restocking of essential stationery.